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Johnny Sullivan's avatar

This really hit for me. In moving to New Hampshire, I’ve left behind a community forged over 12 years in Austin for a place where I know no one. There’s a lot of excitement with a new start like this, especially in a place that draws me, like New England, but there’s also such a strong feeling of being unmoored, a loss of a big part of my identity – I defined myself in large part through my relationships with my community, both my close friendships and my broader, extended network. I’ll form a new community here in time, but for now it feels foreign to be donning this rugged individualist garb. Really looking forward to reading more of your writing on this!

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alex maceda's avatar

"Things get tricky, however, when we become attached to a belief system that prioritizes solitude and autonomy and elevates the individual above the collective. After all, our cowboy might ride off into the sunset, but to what communities does he inevitably interact with in order to survive, and are those relationships symbiotic?"

Mmmmm Kathie this is so good. I think about the romanticization of solitude a lot and have recently been contemplating the archetype of The Cowboy too (I have a dear friend who is obsessed with him as a topic of her art practice). I just finished The Solace of Open Spaces & Unsolaced (Gretel Ehrlich) which I assume you've read (if not, you'd love 'em) and one of the things that struck me the most was just how collectively-oriented the so-called solitary ranch life actually is. Been thinking about how romanticization (especially of The West, The Cowboy or in my case, The Desert) often leaves out important parts of reality and how the lived experience in conjunction with any of the archetypes is so different from the popular culture understanding of it.

Anyway, I loved this whole article! You are such a talented writer. I am also super interested to read The Flowering Wand. Your description is giving "Women Who Run With the Wolves" but for dudes, which is a book I've been looking for for years! Thanks for sharing (take my money!) <3

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